As long as we have important decisions to make in our lives, we will always have to confront doubt and indecision. Given the discomfort that arises from not knowing the right path forward, it’s easy to regard our uncertainty as an affliction and as an obstacle to confidence. While the associated complexity and turbulence of not knowing can indeed cloud our core sense of judgement, navigating through difficulties can often present us with an opportunity for growth. Questioning the foundations of our decision-making allows us to clarify our values and our priorities, and to build a more resilient sense of confidence. When we do find our way out of the woods, we may also end up with fresh insights into ourselves and the world we are a part of. In this guide to understanding doubt, we will explore the example and metaphor of the mariner navigating through stormy weather.
As we sail from one destination to the next in our life, it’s important to know how to recognize the dark clouds on the horizon that signify oncoming doubts. It often helps to identify the circumstances that first trigger us to start questioning our decisions. This may include major life transitions like a new job or career opportunity, new stages of independence when we have less guidance from others, or important decisions that require us to make major sacrifices for a larger goal. When doubt arises, tranquil waters may grow choppy, causing us to lose some momentum. Fears can arise in our gut and make us seasick. When stormy weather appears on the horizon, it’s important to mentally prepare oneself and to roll with the waves.
Alex has been at his sales job for 3 years, but has found himself stagnating within his current role as his options for growth and advancement have started to narrow. Day by day, he has been noticing doubts percolating up about how to proceed within his career. Additionally, performing the same daily responsibilities has been feeling like more and more of an uphill battle with each passing week. While he recognizes the discomfort coming in from the horizon, he cannot move forward until he starts evaluating where he needs to be in relation to where his is now. As the captain of his own ship, Alex has recognized an oncoming storm, and must begin mapping a new trajectory.
When a mariner spots an oncoming storm, they must carefully track its direction and size to determine the best course of action. Similarly, when doubts come our way, it helps to understand where they come from and how they could impact our decision-making. This could involve asking questions like “Which choices trigger fear?” or “What worst case scenario am I afraid of?” Dissecting uncertainty allows us to develop a more objective sense of what we’re working with, and to start mapping out our options for how to proceed. Additionally, the winds of doubt may carry guiding clues toward a secure place to land.
After a particularly draining day of work, Alex decides to assess his options. While his current role pays enough for him to live comfortably, he’s been craving more challenges and novelty. Some of his peers have suggested looking into opportunities for a promotion, but he can’t quite bring himself to take the steps to do so, claiming that he lacks the time to do the research. Alternatively, the thought has crossed his mind to find new work elsewhere. Given the challenges Alex has had landing his current job, however, he has felt reluctant to rock the boat and disrupt his sense of security. While he recognizes that he has to make a decision at some point, he finds himself at an impasse within.
When it comes time to choose a path forward, it’s important to challenge any remaining doubts through our actions and to stay the course. Whether we sail around stormy waters or directly through, or whether we put our anchors down near land until conditions pass, a baseline level of uncertainty is inevitable. To avoid capsizing under turbulence, it’s important to maintain focus on our immediate destination, draw on support from trusted members of our crew, and make decisive choices. Additionally, routines of self-care like exercise and meditation can help maintain our sense of balance when encountering waves of difficulty.
One day, Alex is having a conversation with his friend Hector, who takes a blunt stance on the matter. Hector points out that his friend’s excuses for avoiding promotion are a sign that he’s bored working in sales, and that the only obstacle to making a shift elsewhere is fear. Hector points out that Alex has always preferred working on the computer to engaging with people, despite the praise he gets from others for his charm and interpersonal skills. After considering this perspective, Alex decides to challenge his fears and doubts through action. Instead of pushing for a higher level sales role that would only demand more of his time, he decides to spend that free time on coding projects to share on GitHub, which he can link to on future job applications.
When we hold tight long enough, the clouds eventually pass, visibility improves, and we gain clarity in our chosen direction. Weathering the storm leaves us in greater alignment with our values and priorities, so that we can tackle the challenges ahead with renewed confidence in our own decision-making. Additionally, a storm that has passed presents an opportunity to see the world with fresh eyes and appreciation for the structural integrity of our ship. Under clear skies, we can repair damages and reinforce the strengths that kept us afloat to begin with.
After adjusting his direction, Alex’s doubts subside. While not much has changed for him during his workday, establishing boundaries with his role and making time for developing his coding skills has allowed him to feel more at peace in his day to day life. Though he understands that it can take time to land work in a new industry, he remains patient knowing that it’s only a matter of time before new opportunities appear on the horizon.
Navigating uncertainty can feel like an uncomfortable and turbulent process, but ultimately presents us with an opportunity to boost our strength and resilience. By recognizing, understanding, and ultimately challenging our doubts as they arise, we can equip ourselves with the tools required to make the best decisions possible when we encounter stormy waters. Only by coming out the other end of our challenges can we build confidence and level up our long term goals and ambitions. By embracing doubt as core part of the journey, we can reach new destinations that would otherwise be off-limits.